“Planning my wedding was really easy and stress-free!” – said no bride ever.
Well, you can break the ice and be the first one to make your special day look perfect, without wasting your nerves, tears and energy. Still sounds surreal? The truth is, once you make the “VIP Guests” list, you can consider half the job done and for that, you have to get the answers that every soon-to-be bride needs when planning a wedding. One more thing before you start - serve yourself a big glass of wine and put yourself in your favorite reading position. Ready?
“CAN I HAVE A WEDDING WITHOUT A MAID OF HONOR?”
For many brides, the maid of honor is the bedrock of the entire wedding. They think that if there is no person for this role, the wedding would look weird and incomplete. Believe us that it is not the end of the world if you have no maid of honor at your wedding. In fact, this is becoming quite a normal trend for small, intimate weddings, so if you are planning a wedding of this kind, you can freely shorten the “VIP Guests” list and go on without a maid of honor. However, this means that your bridesmaids will have to “jump into the game” and take some of the MOH responsibilities, like for example, organizing your unforgettable bachelorette party.
“CAN I HAVE TWO BEST MEN OR MAIDS OF HONOR?”
Do not forget that this is not somebody else’s wedding, it is YOUR wedding and you absolutely have the freedom to decide whether you will have one or two best men or maids of honor. When planning a wedding, the groom sometimes has a hard time in deciding which of his two best friends should be his best man, whereas the bride feels guilty if she gives the “maid of honor” title to her best friend and not her sister. The solution is simple for both the groom and the bride – pick the two and breathe that sigh of relief. It is totally forbidden to deal with bad feelings on what is supposed to be the most beautiful day in your life, remember? Moreover, having two best men or maids of honor means splitting their duties in two and when it comes to the toast, one of them can hold the speech for all, in case you do not want to waste time of your wedding ceremony on monologues.
“IS IT NECESSARY TO HAVE THE SAME NUMBER OF GROOMSMEN AND BRIDESMAIDS?”
The answer is loud and clear – no. Unless you desire your wedding party to perform the classic arm-in-arm walk, you can have an uneven number of groomsmen and bridesmaids. There are several ways to combine them while walking down the aisle; for example, one groomsman in the middle with two bridesmaids on the sides, or one groomsman ahead who will open the wedding processional walk. Another great idea when planning a wedding is to have your “mixed” wedding party sitting on a lounge furniture at the altar to emphasize their presence at your wedding. Simply said, when it comes to this matter, you should pay attention to aesthetics and not numbers.
“CAN I HAVE A MAN OF HONOR INSTEAD OF MAID OF HONOR?”
Yes, you can. Planning a wedding does not necessarily mean to follow tradition, you can go off-register instead. Moreover, it would be completely understandable to have a man of honor if your best friend is actually, a guy. You are even allowed to have your closest male friends standing by your side, instead of being accompanied by bridesmaids. Come up with some great color scheme to have your wedding party look pretty and unified. Here is one idea - the tie of your man of honor could match the dresses of the bridesmaids, which will also make him stand out from the groomsmen’s look.
“I HAVE A SISTER, DOES SHE HAVE TO BE MY MAID OF HONOR?”
Sisters get especially excited when their sisters are getting married, so it is always a nice plan to have your sister as your maid of honor. But, there is no such rule saying that this is a must. You can entitle this role to your best friend, while still making your sister feel special and “more important than the others” by embellishing her with a different bouquet or a special accessory. It is a win-win situation in which everyone is happy and satisfied. Sounds good, isn't it?
“I HAVE A DAUGHTER, CAN SHE BE MY MAID OF HONOR?”
There is no sweeter thing when planning a wedding than to make your daughter the maid of honor. Everyone will love seeing that and you will be the proudest mom in the world. If she is still a little girl, it is obvious that she won’t be able to perform all of the MOH responsibilities, such as taking care of your bridal shower. Hence, you will need to have a little backup and pick a “deputy maid of honor” too.
“DOES MY FIANCE’S SISTER HAVE TO BE MY BRIDESMAID AND MY BROTHERS HIS GROOMSMEN?”
This is not necessary, but it is really beneficial in two cases. Case number one, if you are planning a wedding party that counts more people. Case number two, if you want to strengthen the relationship with your future siblings in-law. Wedding parties of more than four persons often include siblings, so if you are envisioning a large wedding party for yourself, let your siblings be part of it. They can perform other tasks in case you are planning a smaller wedding party, such as escorting the guests to their table.
“CAN I HAVE A JUNIOR BRIDESMAID?”
Many struggle with the right definition of “junior bridesmaid”, even we do. In practice, this young girl is between eight and sixteen years old, which also makes her fall into the “flower girl” category. She can be the bride’s little sister, her daughter, her cousin, her niece, her sister in-law or the daughter of a close family friend. If this young girl is close to your heart, regardless of the type of relationship you have, she totally deserves to be your junior bridesmaid.
“HOW OLD THE RING BEARER SHOULD BE?”
Besides the wedding party, planning a wedding also includes other significant roles, like the one called “ring bearer”. This symbolic duty is usually given to children between the age of five and nine. Having a child under the age of four as a ring bearer brings the risk of them getting off the trail (not walking in the right direction), getting shy and eventually running away and leaving “the scene”. But, that is quite understandable for a child of this age, so if any of the aforementioned scenarios happens, blame it on you.
“WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO START INVITING MY WEDDING PARTY?”
Timing is crucial when planning a wedding and you probably know that. Last-minute plans could be super exciting, but they usually do not turn out well, so do not take the risk to play this game for the biggest day in your life. When it comes to asking people to be part of your wedding party, the ideal timing is at least 6 months before the wedding. Remember that these people also need time to prepare for their roles and make everything the way you want it to be – perfect. Before you send them those special invitations, you need to have the full list of guests prepared, because the number of guests usually determines the number of the wedding party. For instance, a small wedding of maximum 70 people would look so unbalanced with a wedding party of 16 bridesmaids and groomsmen, don’t you agree?
“WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT FROM MY BRIDAL PARTY?”
No wedding feels right without the closest people by your side and your bridesmaids certainly belong to this group. They are your priceless asset, your pillar and you should irreversibly honor their presence on your tying-the-knot day. You ideal behavior towards them would be to not take advantage of their enthusiasm and generosity, which you will achieve by not asking them to do anything beyond their bridesmaid responsibilities. Just enjoy in their support and outpouring love to create beautiful memories that your will cherish for a lifetime.
Planning a wedding too? Do not forget to rely on this informative Kobelli article to get the most out of your adventure. And remember, it is your wedding and you can invite (or not) whoever you want!